LOLLY GIRLS.

DENISE SCREAMS

Sunday, November 26, 2006

11:04 AM

Yesterday I went for steamboat. Well it sucked like hell aite! ;_;
It felt like Ivan just ditched me. It seemed like he paid more attention to the other girls and it hurt like hell. Because I thought he would be different from the other guys I've dated. Haha! Always the same old shit and more. 2 days before the outing, he promised to hold my hand and hold it tight, haha, guess what, another empty promise. When I was alone, looking as bored as ever, he didn't even come talk to me. Even when he did was, it was just like a walk past and I was left alone again. I was so tired I didn't bother to talk to anyone much. I just wanted to go home. I didn't wanna make a scene. No use talking to him, one way or another, he would just repeat the same ol' same ol' and frankly, I'm tired, hurt and very sad.
Later on he asked for the time and I said 10pm.

And he just said, "Oh no! If I send you home, there wouldn't be any transport left for me..."
It was my que to say,"It's okay, there are many people going the same direction as me."
He said,"Yeah! You still dare to say! I alone, leh!"
Me, *weak smile*. My heart sinking, I knew it was going to be over soon.

What's the point of hurting so much yea? Especially when he doesn't even know he's hurting you. All the promises he's made, all the things he's said to tease and taunt you when they aren't the least bit funny, for what? Going to his house to look for him, and in the end he sleeps. Going home alone after that. Well at least now he sends me to the bus stop. I just wish that I could turn back time and go back to when we just met and he really treated me like how I deserve to be treated, he would always worry about me and make sure that he sent me home. It's okay if he doesn't send me home but at the same time it isn't okay. I don't know to explain the feeling. He said I could find someone who would treat me better, right now, I think so too. I don't wanna keep using the excuse of breaking up to make him treat me better. Now I want a clean break if I ever mention the topic of breaking up. I almost could say I've had enough. Hahaha I guess this is breaking season.

Sooner or later Ivan would read this because he knows how to overcome the password. And I hope he does, so he'd know how I feel. But does it really matter that he knows, because it'll still be the same and nothing would change. He would even be angry for posting this here for you girls to read. Now it's his turn to get mad. And if your wondering how I got home last night? Well his buddies cabbed me home. And this guy, my god-brother, is those touchy-feely types, I just wished Ivan was there with me in the cab. Haha, now when he sends me a good night message, I thank God. This is almost nonsense. Never love a love that hurts. Damn right I won't.

It's almost moving on, long gone. Tears start to roll. Haha! I would definitely follow my preaching to you girls.

Xue Ting; Ditch Jason for good, he isn't worth your tears one bit!
Nat; I still loveeeee your laughter.
Yink; You should really just forget about Him and move on. You know by now you deserve so much better. Guys just don't know how to appreciate the good shit they are given when it's right infront of their fugly faces.
Zi Xuan; You lucky girl! =P
Sam; Another lucky and smart one for not getting yourself into r/s. HAHAHA!

Okay lollypoppies, cya tmr at school!
Love,
xoxoxo

Labels: emo-out, Low in the ditches, sad