Sunday, August 26, 2007
I don't know how and where to start, I'm just very very very upset. It seems like nothing is going my way. What I want is just very simple. I just want an explanation from him. I just want him to tell me what the hell is going on! Is that too much to ask for? What's with the MIA and avoiding for? Seriously I don't know what to say anymore.
He's with a stupid full moon, at least thats what I think. They like each other but I'm not sure if they together or not. But at the very least he should tell me something! Its like you know someone like you and you didnt make it clear all the while. And now you found someone you like and who also likes you. So is there any slight responsibility that at the very least you should just tell the person who still likes you so that the person can just give up? Thats what I feel lah.
Even until the level of irritation, until when even I'm irritated by myself, he still has no response. Its really unfair to me. I'm always the one giving and giving. Now I'm too tired to give anymore, I have nothing left to give, I'm drained of all energy. I'm really sick and tired. Dont want to continue with this anymore. But somehow I just cant seem to stop myself from loving him despite him being such a bastard. I just cant stop my heart from aching whenever I think of him. Sometimes I really hate myself for being so stupid. I hate myself for being so persistent and everything, in the end hurting nobody but myself.
All the promises he made, it all sounded so true. I trusted him too much, and in the end he betrayed my trust. He told me after he achieved what he wanted, he will be with me again. He told me to trust him and he will not disappoint me. I mean he told me all this like 1 month ago! Should I just continue trusting him? It felt so stupid. Whatever I felt about us, about us becoming better and stuffs, it all seemed so far away. We're not even friends now. Its love or hate, lovers or enemies. The word friends will never exist in his dictionary between us.
You know what? Out of the blue he actually smsed me that day saying "Just don't fucking touch my girl". What is that supposed to mean? I'm a witch? So everyone who hangs out with me will be brainwashed by me to quit the job? So that means I'm trying ways and means to make people working under him quit so that he can never promote? To him, I'm evil. He told his ex girlfriend that I may look cute and nice on the outside, but I'm actually very evil inside (his ex gf told me that). He's the one who wanted to be friends, but is that the way you treat a normal friend? Why do I have to go through all this shit? I felt somehow all this things start with me. All the problems start with me. Its all my fault that things come to this so I deserve all this retribution?
SebasOng is so crazy and irritating when he's trying hard to keep yink. But am I just as irritating as him? I don't want to be like him. But I don't want to lost jason as well.
What girls want is just very simple. We just need someone to love us and care for us with the whole of their heart (and of coz we love them also). Everything would seem so right if things would just be like what we wanted. But all I want is even lesser than that. Just an explanation from him. Thats all..Really, I don't want anything more. Or rather, I don't dare to hope for anything more.
I'm very emotionally unstable now. And I just cant stop crying over this. Who understands the pain in me?
Without you girls, I think I really cant make it till now. Thanks for always listening to all my nonsenses and craps and always by my side when I needed someone. Thanks. I really love you girls! <3
Labels: I'm emotionally unstable. =(
Sunday, May 20, 2007
YINK the alibaba is here and im here to contribute to nat's unglam photos collection! :D
i'm bringing sexy butt..! [guess whose?!] WEE HOO! -whistles-
what's denise doing?
the GREEN couple. aww so loving!
the PIG in our class!...
catNAT from SHREK!
D to th E to th N-I-S-E-T-A-Y
Saturday, May 19, 2007
Special tribute to Natalie. :] Who agrees that she's one helluva awesome babehhhh! Always there to lend a listening ear and the most steady girl I've ever met! Caring and sincere girl and I love her soo soooooo much! HEHEHEHE! First friend I made in NYP omg! :DD She has changed much since I first met her and I love her th way that she is! Don't y'all! HAHAHA! Don't worry lollys! I LOVE Y'ALL TOO!
GSS IS COMING DUDETTES! :)
nat the paparazzi part 2!
yes... its me in action again! up with new photos! WAHAHA.
aww.. isnt tat cute??? sweet smiles from sammy and xuannie!
oh? who's sexy butt is tis? LOL
AH...~ paying attention i see.. seldom see these 2 pay such attention.. LOL =x
WOW! the wind blowing her hair! sexeehh~~
DAVE's chest... LOL. sorry ppl.. cant take girls chest.. i have to take a guy's one instead. LOL
somebody's pentehh~~ LOL
look at xuan sticking her tongue!!! and ting slping in the background.
2 in 1.. im such a photographer. LOL
the end... shall stop taking lame pics fer a while... LOL cuz its time to give me a break. LOL.
natty the paparazzi...
Thursday, May 3, 2007
here are a couple of private shots.. haha! jus fer the lollys to enjoy!!!
SMACK THAT all on the floor... SMACK THAT.. gimme some more.. haha!!! credits to denise's smack.. and zixuan's butt... HAHA!!!
AND now.... for some sexy backs!!! yea baby! haha...
GUESS whose sexy back is this???
Ryan's sexy back... LOL...
Sam's sexy back...!!!
AND of cuz.. yink's sexy side..!!
Yink's attempt to kiss xueting!! haha!!!
GUESS whose sexy pink thong is this??? haha... =x
AND credits to me... nat. CUZ.. im paparazzi who took the pics without them knowing.. LOL..
except fer the smack tat pic.. LOL they pose fer me.. LOL...
Wednesday, May 2, 2007
can somebody update something?!?!?! ALAMAK. its always YINK.
Wednesday, March 28, 2007
HELLO. no one has been posting anything recently ?!?! no?!?!
school is starting in 2 weeks. OHMYGOD. so fast!!!! argh.
shopping spree at malaysia with nat and denise today was FUN!! it was damn fast-paced though. the fastest shopping spree i ever had. we each bought a tshirt and 2 pairs of heels. denise bought BOOTS and a dress. nat and i bought a dress each as well. DAMN NICE!!!!!!
i'm loving it :D
i wanna go back there again... damn!!!
btw, we should all wear our white dresses together. :D yayyyy!
LOVE YOU GIRLS <3